That's what you get
by Jaden Shadow
Summary: One shot stories of Harry and Severus' adventures on the Star Ship Enterpise
1. In the Brig

**Totally Inspire by Dreamwind1 and her fic The Ark and The Desert! If you read it, maybe she'll update!**

"Just a dream." A boy sobbed, curled next to the veil. "Just a dream, it will all go away soon."

"Potter?"

Green eyes darted up. "Professor!" He threw himself at the Potions Master. "Please tell me it's a dream. Tell me I'll wake up and everything will be better."

"Oh, Harry." The man wrapped his arms around the frightened teen. "I'm so sorry." Dark eyes were drawn to the fluttering curtain. "Everything will be ok now."

"No, it won't." Harry whispered, burring himself deeper into the dark robes.

"Sleep." Severus Snape whispered. "It will be."

The two sat, the only sound their breath and the gentle whisper of voices barely to be heard. As soon as the man knew his young charge was deeply asleep, he gathered the boy tightly in his arms and stepped through the Veil.

_**HPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPST**_

Spock glanced inquisitively at the two humanoids that had been brought upon the Starship.

"Is this _necessary_?" The taller near growled at Captain Kirk as he hid his young behind him.

"Planet CKGB-17 is uninhabited." Kirk informed him, quite seriously if the Vulcan did say so himself. "The Federation has classified it as hostile and unsuitable for human life."

"Well it seems your Federation got it wrong." The man said. "Now, return us to our home, if you please."

Spock was impressed; he never seen that particular shade of puce to appear around the captain's nose and ears. Perhaps a visit to Dr. McCoy was in order?

"Put them in the Brig." Kirk near snarled at the officer standing off to one side.

"Separate or together, sir?"

Something akin to fear filled the young man's eyes and he grabbed hold on his Sire's clothing, making a sound likened to a wounded animal.

"Touch him and you will lose the offending appendage." The dark man growled again, placing himself between the child and their captors.

"Just get them out of my sight!" Kirk shouted, causing the boy to whimper.

Spock watched with some concern as the prisoners were led away, his friend and Captain turned yet another shade.

"Should I call Dr. McCoy?" Spock frowned. "I'm afraid you may pop a blood vessel if you continue much longer."

"Forget it." Kirk muttered. "Find out why that planet is X-listed." He ordered before stocking out of Transporter Room.

"Yes, sir."

_**HPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPST**_

Severus sneered at the proffered meal of sludge. "Are we sickly to be offered gruel?" He asked the man. "Take it to your Captain and tell him we'll have none of it."

The crewman rolled his and walked away.

Harry whimpered and tapped two fingers together at his throat.

"I know." Severus pulled the boy close. "I can't do anything, I'm sorry."

Harry made two more signs.

"Because that is how Muggles deal with things that are unknown to them. They cage it."

Harry frowned and signed again.

"I don't know, child. I don't know."

_**HPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPST**_

"The boy is either deaf or mute." Dr. McCoy, or Bones as he was known amongst the crew, reported to Captain Kirk and First Officer Spock. "Giving how he reacted in the Transportation Bay, I would say Mute. I would also say that whatever caused it, happened within the last 3-5 years. Perhaps even more recently than that, if he learned Sign Language beforehand." He handed over a file. "I can see no physical injuries on either other than old scars. The older man is very protective."

"How protective?" Spock inquired.

"Let's just say I nearly had to reattach Edmundson's fingers." Bones looked ruffled. "Stunners don't work long on them; the man 10 minutes the boy 15. But we have been able to glean some knowledge from them in that brief amount of time. The boy is roughly 17 years of age, and has serious marks of neglect."

Spock frowned. "His Sire does not seem the type to be neglectful."

"Ah, but the man isn't his father. At least not biologically. He also shows signs of neglect at a young age. Best guess? The man took the boy to get away from whoever was roughing him. I would say the boy's developed Stockholm Syndrome."

"Neither is in the Federation System." Lt. Uhura reported. "And I've run everything going back 10 years."

"Perhaps it is time to speak with our prisoners then?" Spock interjected.

Kirk snorted. "Talk, right. And how do you propose we do this? The guy has threated –and enacted- physical harm on my crew."

"We be straightforward." Spock turned on his heel and made his way down to the Brig, several members of the crew following bemusedly.

The half-Vulcan found the two in the first cell. "Excuse me; I would be most grateful if you would answer some questions we have. Doing so will enable us to process your case quickly and efficiently."

"The day a governing body does something quickly and efficiently is the day the monkeys learn to swim and fish walk on land." Black eyes glared at him from the cornor the two had taken residence in. "Now be quite, all your poking and prodding has caused unneeded stress on my charge and he is in need of rest. Begon brigand and take the fallowing of fools with you."

"Brigand: A bandit, one of a band of robbers in mountain or forest regions. From the Middle English _briga_ meaning member of an armed company. I fail to see where this in anyway is partial to me." Spock frowned. "As for the 'fallowing of fools' I must admit you have a point there, but I have no knowledge of how you would be privy to this information."

"You attack us unprovoked, remove us from our home and ask why I call you a Brigand?" The man snorted. "As for your fools, I call them such because they gather outside the door like so many giggling school girls, hanging on the every word of a favored professor."

"Our attack was not unprovoked. You were on a planet deemed uninhabitable by the United Federation of Planets due to its long term effects from toxic gases released by several native plants and oversized arthropods*."

"Both of which are easily avoided." The man said matter of factly.

Spock was dumb struck. "How?"

"The gases are avoided by wearing a breathing aperatice, which was stolen from us at the time of our captor. Also, beneth the jungle is perfectly clean air."

"And the Athropods?"

"Simple. Stay away."

"But several men were attacked at random –"

"Only if you attempt to damage the forests in anyway."

"_Aren't they getting off topic?"_ Uhura whispered to someone from the door way.

"We are." The half-Vulcan straitened. "Please state your name and that of your young captive."

"Captive?" The man snorted, then roared with laughter, waking the young man.

The boy looked at his companion, then to Spock and back to his companion. Frowning he made a sign with his hands, which Spock noted was him bringing up his hands to shoulder length and pinching his index and thumb together.

"This being believes you are my captive." The older male gasped out before laughing again.

The boy blushed.

After several minutes, the man took a deep breath and calmed himself. "Thank you. It has been many years since I have laughed so hard."

The boy signed again. This time involving his face.

"But not to the point of pain, child." He patted the boy gently on the head before turning back to Spock, strait faced. "The child is not my captive. He is more of a bur."

Spock frowned. "Bur: a rough, prickly case around the seeds of certain plants. Again I fail to see the significance."

"Many burs adhere to clothing and are difficult to remove." The man frowned. "We are getting off topic again."

"Indeed." Spock shook himself again. "Your names."

"An eye for an eye."

"Will you please _stop_ interjecting –"

"_He wants your name, clueless_." Kirk muttered from the other side of the door.

"Oh." He could feel a headache building behind his eye. "I am First Officer Spock."

"You may call me Professor Snape."

"_Snape? How would you even spell that?"_ Uhura muttered.

"And what are you Professor of?" Spock interjected before the others could carry on.

"A lost art." Snape smirked. "Something I doubt you have any knowledge on."

"You would be surprised of what my knowledge consists of."

"_Was that an innuendo?"_ Kirk asked surprised. "_Spock just made a sexual innuendo, dear god!"_

"Indeed. But I'm afraid I'm still not going to tell you."

"Very well, what is your companion's name?"

"Ask him yourself."

"He is un able to answer? You have not said a word to him."

"But I am quite capable of using reasoning."

The boy in question sat on the floor watching with fascination at the conversation happening between the two men.

"Is that you are ashamed of your inability to communicate with someone and are therefore are ignoring basic manners of which you are more than likely accustom to."

"My manners have nothing to do with the fact that your companion cannot speak and as such can_ not_ tell me his name."

"_I've never heard Spock so flusterd." _Bones said gleefully.

"Your manors have a great deal to do with it!" Snape insisted. "If you had any manors what so ever, you would ask my companion his name and ask me to translate for you."

The boy tugged on Snape's sleeve to get his attention. The two signs consisted of a tap across on hand's open palm with the side of the other hand and one hand being shaken with the pinkie and thumb extended.

"I am not _playing_. Is it too much to ask for a few manners after the manner in which we have been treated?"

The boy looked at his companion with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh very well, ruin my fun." Black eyes turned back to the Vulcan. "His name is Harry."

_**HPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPST**_

_2 years later_

"You would think this would get old." Dr. McCoy chuckled as he watched the two dark haired figures argue in the middle of the mess hall.

His dinner companion snorted into his dinner and continued eating.

"I told you that you had to add the Muldularia Blood first!" Severus Snape snapped at his partner.

"But it would make sense to add Rudanea Root first."

"Not if you're trying to counter act the Powdered Creneo Horn!"

Bones looked at Harry. "You need to get the captain to give you your own room."

Harry signed. _I'd settle for a bunk with Scotty._

"That bad?"

_You think this is the only time he yells?_

_**HPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPST**_

*Yes I totally stole Naussica: of the valley of the Wind

**Ok so I really should update something, ANYTHING, of one of my old stories. But I can't they've just lost all meaning to me. I've been working on some new stuff but don't hold your breath…My first finished crossover though, so that's cool! Reviews make the world turn!**


	2. Losing a Bet

"A bet's a bet, Spock!" Bones crowed. "I'm sure someone in Clothing can find something in your size." He was still chuckling as he walked away.

"I fail to see the significance of a man in woman's clothing being humorous." The Vulcan frowned.

"It's supposed to be degrading." Uhura informed him.

"Degrading?" Spock asked confused. "But Human males have been cross dressing for centuries. Greek legends tell of Achilles dressing in women's clothing by his mother to escape the Trojan War. The God Odin dressed as a female healer while trying to seduce Rindr. The Hindu ~"

"Enough, Spock. I get it." The Communications Officer knew that nipping her friend in the bud was the best way to stop a rant. "The point is; Bones wants you to show up in a dress at dinner. Come on, time for reinforcements."

Uhura led the way to the First Officer's own quarters.

"We will not find reinforcements in my rooms." Spock informed her.

"You'd be surprised. Harry," She called as they entered the main room. "Spock lost the bet."

A small dark head popped from a small room that used to be an office. The young teen had taken it over when his guardian, Severus Snape, had begun his relationship with the Vulcan.

_I told you he would._ Harry signed.

Spock sighed to himself. There was nothing physically wrong with young Harry. Severus told him that he'd just stopped speaking the day the two had arrived on the planet the crew of the Enterprise had found them on.

"Yes, yes. Folly on me." Uhura shook her head. "Just make him look good. Give the idiots in the Med Bay a good shock, yeah?"

"What are you going to do to me?" For the first time Spock was truly frightened of the small human.

_It won't hurt._ The teen waited until the other male was in his room before turning to his friend. _Much._

Leonard McCoy was tickled pink as he entered the dining hall that night just before the Dinner rush. Any moment now, First Commander Spock would be walking through the doors in a female's uniform, and would most likely have no idea why everyone was laughing at him.

Sitting back, Bones smirked as he sipped his whiskey. Today could be one of the best of his life.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Uhura called from the doorway, making sure to get everyone's attention. "Earlier this afternoon, Chief Medical Officer McCoy and First Officer Spock engaged in a bet. Unfortunailty, FO Spock lost." There were chuckles all around. "And now I present: Spock!"

Several jaws dropped.

Dressed in the red uniform of a Pedi officer, you could see the long legs that graced the Vulcan race. A long black wig hung down his back, two long locks of hair in front of his ears. Makeup enhanced his already high cheek bones and minimized his jawline.

To put it simply – Spock looked good.

_Well that came back and bit me in the ass._ Bones thought, stunned, as several of the crew gave wolf whistles and cat calls. For the first time, Spock blushed.

Suddenly the room went quiet as Severus Snape stood from his table.

One look at the dark man's blown and lust filled pupils, sent people scrambling from his path.

"Oh!" Spock exclaimed as the Human threw him over his shoulder and stalked out of the dining hall.

"I think you're going to have to bunk with Scotty tonight, Harry."


	3. How they got together

How did Spock and Snape get together?

STHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHP

They were at it again. Harry groaned and slumped in his seat, rubbing his temples.

"This is getting ridiculous." Uhura sighed. "You'd think that after a year, they'd realize that they have unresolved sexual tension and just get it over with."

The two sat in the library/study of the ship.

_The worst part is that it's the same argument they've been having all week._ The teen signed. The caption had mad it mandatory that every member of his crew learn at least the basics of the language, thinking it would be a great advantage in the field.

Uhura, being the Communications officer and linguist, picked it up quickly. She was the only person, other than his guardian; he could hold a whole conversation with.

"The one about Butterfly Weed?"

Harry nodded._ They've moved past properties and are on what potions it should be used in._

"Snape should have never given him that book to read."

The teen gave one of his hissing, gurgling laughs. _I think he misses arguing. I don't put up much of a fight when it comes to Potions, except when I have to take them._

"So he's just picking a fight to fight?"

Harry shook his head._ No he genially thinks Spock's wrong, he just misses someone giving him ideas. Give it a few more days to hash things out._

"If you say so."

STHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHP

A few more days did NOTHING other than change the topic of the two's discussion.

_This is getting totally out of hand._ Harry told Uhura. _Something needs to be done._

"Short of locking them in a room together, there's nothing we get do."

The two looked at each other and grinned. _That's it! Uhura you're a genius!_ He took off down the hall to the main deck, the communications officer hot on his heels.

"- Don't care if you think he's wrong, I don't know anything on the subject." Kirk growled as they entered the room. "And I don't want anything to do with it."

Spock did his version of a pout and walked away.

"Captain?" Uhura asked cautiously. Kirk was tricky to handle on a good day, but he was already irritated at his Vulcan friend.

"I have such a head ache." Kirk said, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Harry laughed and walked up behind the man and began massaging his neck.

"Oh thank you Harry." The Capitan leaned back into the skilled hands. "What can I do for you two?"

"Well Harry and I have an idea." Uhura said. "About Snape and Spock."

This got everyone's attention.

"Seriously?"

"You mean they'll stop fighting?"

"Dose it involve super gluing their mouths shut?"

"That's actually a good idea." Kirk chuckled before turning back to the woman. "What did you have in mind?"

"Lock them in a closet together." Uhura said matter of factly.

"They'd kill each other!"

"No they won't, they'll end up fucking like bunny rabbits."

"Either way they'll stop fighting." Kick said. "Do it."

STHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHP

Severus Snape grumbled as he searched through the janitorial closet at the end of the hall from the rooms he shared with his charge.

Damn the brat for spilling his drink everywhere. And damn him for not making sure they had the adequate materials to clean such a mess.

"What are you doing?"

The Potions Master nearly groaned. Of all the people on this manmade monstrosity, it had to be Spock that found him ruffling threw cleaning supplies.

"Harry spilled his tea. And since the boy likes entirely too much sugar in his drink, the carpets in our rooms are sticky."

"Ah," Spock stepped into the room and plucked a bottle off the shelf. "You'll want this one then."

Suddenly, the door was shut. And they were locked in darkness.

"I'm going to kill that boy!"

STHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHP

It had been six hours since they'd locked the two men in the storage cupboard on the third corridor. Someone went by every hour to make sure they hadn't killed each other yet but would usually leave rolling their eyes.

"No one's heard anything the last couple of hours." Kirk whispered as he stood outside the door with Uhura and Harry. "Should we check?"

Harry nodded and opened the door and peeking in. Before both of the others could see inside, Harry slammed the door and stepped away wide eyed.

"What?" Uhura asked the traumatized boy, opening the door for herself.

On the floor lay the two equally naked men, Snape buried deep in Spock.

"Oh, sweetie!" She pulled Harry into a hug. "Come on, Scotty always has the best tea."

**OK so this is my Third chapter! I've retitled the whole story and put it all in one place so you're not hunting for everything! **

**So this is how this one's gonna work. You send me a promp and I'll write it. Dosn't matter how long or how short, I'll do it! Just remember that unless i get a plot bunny, you're all i've got!**


	4. Chess

Severus and Spock play Chess ~ for Heather on HPFandom

STHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHP

"Rook to B5."

"How long have they been playing this one?" Kirk muttered to the lone teen on his crew.

_Just started._ The boy was able to sign without looking up from his book.

"So a couple of hours then." The caption sighed. He had been hoping to challenge Bones. "Don't you guys have a Board in your rooms?"

_They like playing in the garden._ Harry laughed, something that always made everyone around him smile. _Besides I could say the same of you._

"Yes, but Bones and I don't live in the same room!" Kirk chuckled then looked down at what the boy was reading. "History again?"

"He's doing his homework." Uhura chuckled coming up behind her friend. "Same game from yesterday?"

_No, Spock won that one._ Harry told her. _Do you think you could help me with my math later, Caption?_

After being found on Planet CKGB-17, an planet that had been deemed unhinhabitable by the Federation of Planets, Spock had desided that the boy didn't know near enough of what he should and had insisted that he be schooled in things any normal teenager should.

Of cource, Spock's idea of 'what every teenager should know' differed from just about everything else's. But the boy did live on a Federation Ship and there wasn't much he could get into.

"Sure, sprout."

Harry made a face at the nickname. It wasn't HIS fault he was so short.

"How long are we thinking this one will last?" Uhura asked.

"My bet's on at least a couple of days." Kirk said.

_They'll be done in a couple of hours._ Harry told them. _Winner gets to top._

"Maybe I should just put a bed for you in Scotty's room." Caption Kirk chuckled with a shake of his head.

STHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHP

"Checkmate." Spock said.

Harry looked up. _Done already? I haven't even finished. _He held up his book that was three quarters finished.

"Have you gotten to the War between Collonies on Alpha 542?" The teen nodded. "Than you may stop for the night. What about your Maths work?"

_Caption said he'd help me._

"Then be off with you. I want to check it before you run off to Scotty." Snape stood and stretched his back slightly. The boy nodded and was off.

"I am not sure we should be incuroging his time with a man such an age older as Scotty is." Spock said with a slight frown.

"There is no reason to worry." Severus told him with a smirk. "Until he's bonded no one can touch him in any carnal fashion." He turned to leave. "Besides, Harry would not engage in a romantic relationship without consulting us first."

"In that I'm not so sure." Spock murrmered fallowing his partner from the garden.

STHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHP

**Hello! Ok so the challenge from Heather was 'play 3-D chess together'. I don't play chess at all, and I couldn't find ANYTHING that played out a whole chess game. And I tried. I even went as far as to go onto youtube and try to copy them move by move. Finally I found an old book of my dad's that gave me **_**some**_** moves but not a lot so I used what I could find. I also set it up for my next chapter which is a mix of a promp from a reviewer (You'll see who next chappie XD) and something I keep asking myself everytime I write a chapter.**

**Remember, this story goes NOWHERE without you guys! So Hit that review button and send me a promp! See you next time!**


	5. Vulcan Style

-Spock is protective of Harry in a situation in which he (Spock) is being rediculis. Promp from Ange() on HPfandom (Also the answer to a question that's been bothering me….what's with Scotty?)

~_anything in here is sign language~_

STHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHP

Spock frowned as he watched his young charge laugh at the Chief Engenier then sign something he couldn't see. The older man looked affronted as Harry laughed at him.

"I've told you, Harry won't enter into any kind of romantic relationship without our permission." Severus drawled from his chair. "You'll do nothing but drive yourself spare if you keep this up."

"I have read that Human children will do many things their Parental Units forbid them to just because it is that, Forbidden." Spock turned back to his tea. "How do you know Harry will not do that?"

"Other than the lovely little spell he has on him that would be quite painful for anyone who touched him?"

"Be serious."

"I am being serious." Severus looked up from his book. "Harry won't do anything because is NOT a normal human child. Besides, he looks to Scotty as one would an older brother or a favored Uncle."

"I still do not like the situation." Spock started at his cup for a moment. "I would be more comfortable if his friends were his age."

The other man sighed. "Spock, in case you missed it, Harry is the youngest person on this ship."

"There are several members of the crew that are closer to his age then Lt. Scott."

"And they are not nearly as mature as Harry is." Severus told him. "Just leave it."

"Very well." Spock sipped his cool tea.

STHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHP

As Spock lay curled into his partner's side, he couldn't get his concerns for the child from his mind.

True, Harry was not Severus' by blood, but the human had taken child in and cared for him as his own. That made Harry Spock's child as well, didn't it?

The Vulcan slipped out of bed and pulled his robe around him. Perhaps he would check on the child, at least to set his mind at ease.

Frowning he noticed that Harry's light could be seen from under his door. Knocking he called. "Harry? Are you still awake?"

The door stayed closed, but Spock could hear someone moving around inside the room.

"Harry I'm coming in." The door slid open and Spock had to keep himself from gasping.

The boy stood stock still in the middle of the room, his torso covered in brusies in various stages of healing, one eye swollen shut by the colorful bruise that covered the left side of his face.

"Who did this?" Harry didn't move, his lone green eye wide. "You will tell me who did this!"

Never had Spock felt such rage. Even when the Vulcan children had called his father a traitor or Kirk had tricked him into giving up his command of the Enterprise. Someone had been beating on his child and it would end NOW.

"It was Lt. Scott wasn't it." The First Officer near snarled. "I knew you shouldn't have spent so much time with him. I knew something was wrong." Spinning on his heal and paying no mind to his state of undress, Spock stalked out of his quarters and threw the ship to the Engain room.

"Where is Lt. Scott?" He asked a wide eyed engineer. "Quickly now!" The girl pointed.

STHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHP

"He's got a good smack to him." Scotty laughed with Uhura. "But there's no bounce!"

Out of nowhere, a fist connected with the Chief Engineer's face, than another and another.

"Spock! Stop!" The woman yelled, pulling at the enraged Vulcan.

"I'll teach you to pick on someone your own size!" Spock yelled braking free and slamming his fist again into Scotty's face, not giving the man time to defend himself.

Several members of the crew gathered to watch the First Officer (who was dressed only in a robe) beat the ever living crap out of the Chief Engineer.

"For the love of all that is Holy, will somebody STUN him already?" Kirk cried out.

Spock's world went dark.

STHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHPSTHP

Swimming towards concesnes, Spock could tell that he'd been handcuffed to a bed in the Medbay.

"Oh look, the Hulk is coming to." Bones cackled from beside him.

"Why would you refer to me as a fictional character with green skin?" Spock asked groggily. "And why am I strapped down like a prisioner?"

"That would be because you just beat our best mechanic into pulp." Kirk said from his other side. "Without warning or provocation."

Spock frowned. That didn't seem like him. Then it hit him. "Without provocation is incorrect, Caption. He's been beating up on Harry."

Someone snorted. "I should hope so." Severus said from off to his right. "He's been teaching Harry how to Box."

"Box?" Spock looked over.

Harry sat on the next bed, blushing.

_~Severus said I should be able to defend myself, should the need arise~._ Harry signed. _~But I tripped and hit my head. I usually see Bones before I come home, but I just wanted to go to sleep.~_

Spock's frown deepened. "I doubt he's teaching you to box at all hours of the night."

_~Scotty's a Squib.~ _Harry told him matter of factly. _He's been helping me get in touch with someone who could help me with my magical studies. Plus, he's got the best tea on this ship.~_

Spock sighed. "I guess I owe Lt. Scott an apology."

"That might take a while." Kirk shook his head. "Like a said you beat him to a pulp."

**Hello! Hoped you enjoyed the newest chapter!**

**OK couple of notes **

**#1: I changed my name so that everything was easier to find (being as my name on both hpfandom and AFF is Jaden Shadow it was just easier to change here)**

**#2: there's a Poll on my page for Harry's love intrest, please go cast your vote so that i can input that chapter. **

**#3: More Promps means more updates so click that little button on the bottom yeah?**

**Heather: LOL I'm glad you liked it! Truthfully, the part about 'winner tops' is actually stolen from a pair of friends of mine who are continusly doing that. It's fun to watch them sometimes. **


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